Katherine, there's no right or wrong in how you use your journal. It's yours to do with it what you want and if you want to write about Nadia, then it's right.
( and he thinks that's a very good use of her journal. it gets down in writing something important, something she wants to mark. )
But I personally think that's a very good thing to use your journal on. I've used mine on things like that before. Getting events down that I want to remember so I can go back and read it and remember what I felt like that day.
[ his praise makes her feel so shy that she does everything to not hide her face in her hands or his sheets. katherine hadn't wanted to write in the diary he'd given her initially out of fear of not doing it right, and then that fear had transformed into her being intimidated by whatever it is she put pen to paper. she still has no idea how he does it. ]
I've lived over 500 years and I've never written anything down. I was afraid that if I did, someone would find me and then Klaus would then find me and… [ she sighs and rolls her eyes. ] you know that whole story. But now that I don't have to worry about that? It's just scary. You make it look so easy.
[ it's amazing how much of her life has been dictated by this fear of being discovered by one man. even now, she frets putting too many details down to paper means that not only is it real, but someone can use it against her. ]
Katherine, I can't even imagine what it was like to be constantly looking over your shoulder. I don't know how you did it and I'm sure there aren't very many people who would have survived and thrived with a life like that. So, I make it look easy because I didn't have to worry about the things you do.
( because they were legitimate, valid worries. from what he knows of klaus' chase of her, he would have used anything in his power to find her and keep her. )
A journal is for you, Katherine. It's a good way to get thoughts of your head so you don't dwell on them so much. It's a good way to remember important events or maybe mark what you were thinking on a specific day. Use it for whatever you want, whenever you want.
[ god, he has this tendency to completely overwhelm her.
all stefan seems keen on doing is validating every single thing she says when she's spent so long having people invalidate every single thing she's done. klaus chasing her for over five centuries has simply been a mistake on her part. every decision she's made to outrun him has been her fault, with no string tying it back to the original hybrid.
but here's stefan fucking salvatore changing the script, and katherine doesn't quite know how she's meant to navigate that.
so, she goes with instinct. she looks down and brushes the hair from her face for something to do. it gives her a very brief moment to reconsider, but she doesn't quite know how to respond to him other than with a lame thanks.
she shuffles over towards him, and cradles his face in her palm before she leans down to press her lips against his. ]
( stefan knows he hasn't always been this way or seen it from her side of things. he knows he'd been one of the people to throw obstacles in front of her when she came into town for whatever reason. he can't take that back but he can try and be different now.
he wonders if he's said too much or said the wrong thing when she doesn't immediately reply. he isn't trying to say that he knows how she's feeling and an apology is on the tip of his tongue when she kisses him.
it's...warm and familiar, something that he knows he can sink into and escalate or just let happen and be content with. he doesn't press for more because this is more than enough for him. )
[ it was just meant to be a kiss to articulate far more than what she could verbally manage. he's once again rendered her speechless, which is something she hasn't quite prepared for. she doesn't quite know how. planning ahead for an original hybrid, original vampire lover, and even the monsters of deerington is far easier than being able to figure out how to deal with stefan when he's so stefan.
she pulls away, letting her face hover near his. with the hand cradling his face, she lets her fingers trace over his cheekbone and up to his browbone, liking how this mere act relaxes her. it reminds her that he's here, and selfishly, she can only hope it reminds him that she's here, too.
she knows she could climb on top of him and straddle him, but katherine doesn't feel like she needs to. laying half on top of him with him being so open and vulnerable to her is far more than she expected to have.
she looks up at his hair, letting her fingers tease it. quietly, ] You're irreplaceable. You should write that down in your diary so you don't forget it.
( maybe he will. he's certain to write something about this day, he knows, so maybe he will include that.
for now, all he can really do is stare at her, blinking slowly because he hadn't expected her to say that. he doesn't know if it's true or of if he believes her but hearing it said out loud is...something. it's a lot.
stefan swallows, finding it suddenly difficult but finds his voice a few moments later. )
Maybe I will.
( or maybe he'd keep that just for himself, tucked away in his head only to remember it when he needed it the most. )
[ she smiles, feeling rather victorious even if he hasn't outright said he will most definitely write it down. he heard her say it and he acknowledged it, and that's all she can really ask for.
he is irreplaceable. she can count only on one hand and one finger the number of people who would continuously fight for her. if he was anyone else, he'd let her go the very first time she tried to push him away. but stefan remains stubborn to a fault, and she thinks it's paid off for the both of them.
katherine leans down to give him a peck on the lips and then shifts off of him. still lying on her side, she nestles herself against his and lets her fingers trace his clavicle and the muscles of his chest. ]
( did it really have to be pretty? he ate meals there sometimes and he sat there to read or to write or to talk. it worked for what it was meant for. unfortunately, it was not meant for sex between two vampires and thus, it was in pieces.
he chuckles and sighs at her touch. )
I didn't really care what it looked like when I got here. It did what it needed to do. Now, I'll have to get a new one at some point. And reinforce it.
( just in case they decided to do something like that again. )
well, she's going to take it means he wants to have sex on his table again. she'll ensure to ask; perhaps he's had very bad experiences with his late table that go beyond the two of them being naked no top of it.
still drawing on his skin, she tries to duck her face a little so he can't see her amused smile. ] Are you intending to eat very roughly on your table?
[ she tries not to laugh when she arches her eyebrow. ] You're going to bring an oily, gross engine into your kitchen?
[ does katherine know what an engine is like? hell to the no, but it doesn't matter. she laughs then. sometimes, he is so ridiculous. she honestly wouldn't put it past him to actually do it to prove to her he can and will.
but it's a little obvious to her that maybe… it's not wishful thinking on her part that he might want to devour her on that table again.
still smiling, she says coyly, ] You could use that table for other things.
( and he absolutely hopes to do that but since she's being coy, that just means he has to call her on it and see if she'll tell him what's on her mind. )
What other things could I use my table for, Katherine?
[ should she? no, katherine's not going to come right out and say it. while she might be blunter with him on most occasions, it's not her style in this type of situation. she wants to see if he'll spit it out or allude to it until she's forced to spit it out. she wants to see if she can make him blush.
she smiles cheekily, gliding her hand down his chest. ] Eating.
[ she is very tempted to simply say food, but katherine isn't katherine if she's not pushing the limits. besides, that's boring. he has a floor to eat actual food on. ]
Hmm. [ looking at her finger while feigning complete disinterest and innocence to the topic at hand, she lets out a breath to try and appear aloof. her heatbeat does pick up a little, not quite in nervousness but in anticipation of what he might say. ] Me.
[ she glances up at him, unable to contain her smile. she has a feeling he won't exactly reject that. ]
( well, he's glad that she said it so he didn't have to because it's absolutely the same thing he'd been thinking. he licks his lips even though he doesn't really have to, slipping closer and leaning in for another kiss. )
Yeah, I think I do want to use my new table for that. I didn't get a chance to eat you this time.
( the table had broken before they'd gotten too far into things. )
[ katherine makes sure to hover a little out of reach, wanting to tease him. he'll get his kiss, but she wants to have fun first.
she pouts sympathetically for his sad plight. ] You didn't. [ she sighs, ] You probably won't, since I seem to be a lot faster at getting down on my knees for you.
[ she lets her hand glide down to his hipbone and trails it back up to his shoulder. all she wants to do is tease him. ] You might need to hold me down if you want to eat me out. [ with a shrug, ] I do like having your cock in my mouth.
I can't help it if you want to be on your knees in front of me so much.
( this type of talk isn't something that stefan's very good at or does very often but he's over a century old so he can talk like this and so he decides to give katherine a little bit of a treat.
he doesn't know how long he'll be able to keep it up but he can do it for a few moments. )
I could always tie you down. ( he shrugs. ) At some point.
[ what she expected definitely wasn't this. katherine peers at him with a look of surprise on her face, wondering if she heard him correctly at all. contrary to what she may want him to believe now and in the foreseeable future, she remembers their drunk text conversation and how she needed to guide him through it all. she didn't mind, and still doesn't. she knows what she wants and she's a force to be reckoned with when she wants to get it. she kind of likes that his 1864 self is still within reach. ]
Really? [ she sounds intrigued. her heartbeat picks up a little in excitement. what she says next isn't anything coy, she simply wants to hear him say yes. ] You'd want to do that?
( even if he hadn't been very good when she'd drunkenly called him and told him all sorts of interesting things about what she wanted to do with him and to him. and while she'd carried that conversation for the most part, he hadn't forgotten and he wasn't a complete prude either. )
[ she bites her lips in an attempt to hide her smile. ] I just never expected you'd want to do that.
[ with her. that's the unspoken bit. katherine's gotten pretty good at quickly understanding what she should say to stefan and what she shouldn't when it comes to her insecurity with him. she knows he doesn't want her to be anyone else, she just has to stop wanting to be someone else to fit with him.
she glides her finger lightly along the slope of his nose and cheeks. ] But you should. I'll even pretend I can't break out of it.
[ her smile widens as she wears her surprise and amusement without any hesitation. there's things he wants to do? has he been thinking about these things? and if yes, for how long? are they for her or just general things on his bucket list? ]
Really?
[ she can't help herself from asking. ]
As your friend, you should tell me. [ looking down at him pointedly, ] You shouldn't keep secrets from friends.
( does stefan want to tell her all that's in his head? does he want to share some of the fantasies he has about her or in general? )
Didn't I just tell you a secret? And you want more now? I don't know if I want to tell you everything right off. Then, there's no mystery and it might get boring.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
manipulative) wrote2019-12-08 11:16 am
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( and he thinks that's a very good use of her journal. it gets down in writing something important, something she wants to mark. )
But I personally think that's a very good thing to use your journal on. I've used mine on things like that before. Getting events down that I want to remember so I can go back and read it and remember what I felt like that day.
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I've lived over 500 years and I've never written anything down. I was afraid that if I did, someone would find me and then Klaus would then find me and… [ she sighs and rolls her eyes. ] you know that whole story. But now that I don't have to worry about that? It's just scary. You make it look so easy.
[ it's amazing how much of her life has been dictated by this fear of being discovered by one man. even now, she frets putting too many details down to paper means that not only is it real, but someone can use it against her. ]
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( because they were legitimate, valid worries. from what he knows of klaus' chase of her, he would have used anything in his power to find her and keep her. )
A journal is for you, Katherine. It's a good way to get thoughts of your head so you don't dwell on them so much. It's a good way to remember important events or maybe mark what you were thinking on a specific day. Use it for whatever you want, whenever you want.
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all stefan seems keen on doing is validating every single thing she says when she's spent so long having people invalidate every single thing she's done. klaus chasing her for over five centuries has simply been a mistake on her part. every decision she's made to outrun him has been her fault, with no string tying it back to the original hybrid.
but here's stefan fucking salvatore changing the script, and katherine doesn't quite know how she's meant to navigate that.
so, she goes with instinct. she looks down and brushes the hair from her face for something to do. it gives her a very brief moment to reconsider, but she doesn't quite know how to respond to him other than with a lame thanks.
she shuffles over towards him, and cradles his face in her palm before she leans down to press her lips against his. ]
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he wonders if he's said too much or said the wrong thing when she doesn't immediately reply. he isn't trying to say that he knows how she's feeling and an apology is on the tip of his tongue when she kisses him.
it's...warm and familiar, something that he knows he can sink into and escalate or just let happen and be content with. he doesn't press for more because this is more than enough for him. )
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she pulls away, letting her face hover near his. with the hand cradling his face, she lets her fingers trace over his cheekbone and up to his browbone, liking how this mere act relaxes her. it reminds her that he's here, and selfishly, she can only hope it reminds him that she's here, too.
she knows she could climb on top of him and straddle him, but katherine doesn't feel like she needs to. laying half on top of him with him being so open and vulnerable to her is far more than she expected to have.
she looks up at his hair, letting her fingers tease it. quietly, ] You're irreplaceable. You should write that down in your diary so you don't forget it.
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for now, all he can really do is stare at her, blinking slowly because he hadn't expected her to say that. he doesn't know if it's true or of if he believes her but hearing it said out loud is...something. it's a lot.
stefan swallows, finding it suddenly difficult but finds his voice a few moments later. )
Maybe I will.
( or maybe he'd keep that just for himself, tucked away in his head only to remember it when he needed it the most. )
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he is irreplaceable. she can count only on one hand and one finger the number of people who would continuously fight for her. if he was anyone else, he'd let her go the very first time she tried to push him away. but stefan remains stubborn to a fault, and she thinks it's paid off for the both of them.
katherine leans down to give him a peck on the lips and then shifts off of him. still lying on her side, she nestles herself against his and lets her fingers trace his clavicle and the muscles of his chest. ]
Your table was very ugly, by the way.
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( did it really have to be pretty? he ate meals there sometimes and he sat there to read or to write or to talk. it worked for what it was meant for. unfortunately, it was not meant for sex between two vampires and thus, it was in pieces.
he chuckles and sighs at her touch. )
I didn't really care what it looked like when I got here. It did what it needed to do. Now, I'll have to get a new one at some point. And reinforce it.
( just in case they decided to do something like that again. )
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[ does that mean…?
well, she's going to take it means he wants to have sex on his table again. she'll ensure to ask; perhaps he's had very bad experiences with his late table that go beyond the two of them being naked no top of it.
still drawing on his skin, she tries to duck her face a little so he can't see her amused smile. ] Are you intending to eat very roughly on your table?
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( she knows what he's talking about and if she's trying to make him say it, she's going to have to work a little harder than that. )
And maybe put a car's engine on it to work on when I'm trying to occupy myself. I want a table to be able to handle that without any sort of failure.
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[ does katherine know what an engine is like? hell to the no, but it doesn't matter. she laughs then. sometimes, he is so ridiculous. she honestly wouldn't put it past him to actually do it to prove to her he can and will.
but it's a little obvious to her that maybe… it's not wishful thinking on her part that he might want to devour her on that table again.
still smiling, she says coyly, ] You could use that table for other things.
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( and he absolutely hopes to do that but since she's being coy, that just means he has to call her on it and see if she'll tell him what's on her mind. )
What other things could I use my table for, Katherine?
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she smiles cheekily, gliding her hand down his chest. ] Eating.
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( he tries not to smile at his question but he fails. one corner of his mouth lifts and he looks away, trying not to laugh. )
It's important to know what I might be eating on this very strong table of mine.
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Hmm. [ looking at her finger while feigning complete disinterest and innocence to the topic at hand, she lets out a breath to try and appear aloof. her heatbeat does pick up a little, not quite in nervousness but in anticipation of what he might say. ] Me.
[ she glances up at him, unable to contain her smile. she has a feeling he won't exactly reject that. ]
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( well, he's glad that she said it so he didn't have to because it's absolutely the same thing he'd been thinking. he licks his lips even though he doesn't really have to, slipping closer and leaning in for another kiss. )
Yeah, I think I do want to use my new table for that. I didn't get a chance to eat you this time.
( the table had broken before they'd gotten too far into things. )
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she pouts sympathetically for his sad plight. ] You didn't. [ she sighs, ] You probably won't, since I seem to be a lot faster at getting down on my knees for you.
[ she lets her hand glide down to his hipbone and trails it back up to his shoulder. all she wants to do is tease him. ] You might need to hold me down if you want to eat me out. [ with a shrug, ] I do like having your cock in my mouth.
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( this type of talk isn't something that stefan's very good at or does very often but he's over a century old so he can talk like this and so he decides to give katherine a little bit of a treat.
he doesn't know how long he'll be able to keep it up but he can do it for a few moments. )
I could always tie you down. ( he shrugs. ) At some point.
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Really? [ she sounds intrigued. her heartbeat picks up a little in excitement. what she says next isn't anything coy, she simply wants to hear him say yes. ] You'd want to do that?
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( even if he hadn't been very good when she'd drunkenly called him and told him all sorts of interesting things about what she wanted to do with him and to him. and while she'd carried that conversation for the most part, he hadn't forgotten and he wasn't a complete prude either. )
Yes, I'd want to do that.
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[ with her. that's the unspoken bit. katherine's gotten pretty good at quickly understanding what she should say to stefan and what she shouldn't when it comes to her insecurity with him. she knows he doesn't want her to be anyone else, she just has to stop wanting to be someone else to fit with him.
she glides her finger lightly along the slope of his nose and cheeks. ] But you should. I'll even pretend I can't break out of it.
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There's things that I want to do that you don't know about it. Not yet, at least.
( but she was doing well at finding out, wasn't she? )
I might. ( he grins at her underneath her touch. ) Someday soon.
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Really?
[ she can't help herself from asking. ]
As your friend, you should tell me. [ looking down at him pointedly, ] You shouldn't keep secrets from friends.
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( does stefan want to tell her all that's in his head? does he want to share some of the fantasies he has about her or in general? )
Didn't I just tell you a secret? And you want more now? I don't know if I want to tell you everything right off. Then, there's no mystery and it might get boring.
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