manipulative | deerington contact.

Do you wish you hadn't said that to me?

( about being alone, he means. he has a feeling she wishes she'd kept that to herself even if it had been the catalyst he'd needed to go to the hospital. it had accomplished what it was meant to. )

I don't want to leave you alone either. You don't have to fight me.

( even if it was ingrained and instinctual, he wants her to know that she doesn't have to constantly press back against him. )

[ yes.

katherine wishes she hadn't said a lot of things, but many of those things proved to be the catalyst to get them here. at the end of the day, she always feels better having told him how she felt or something that she had on her mind. she would always come to never regret it.

but it's still a change in her usual status quo, and that's scary.

she sighs. ] I'm not fighting you. [ yes, she is—and she knows it.

she thinks to leave it there, but she knows he'll either push her or worse, leave her alone. ] And I don't. But you get why it's so hard for me, right?

I get it. I just want you to feel comfortable around me.

( and while he thinks she does sometimes, there are other times when he honestly wonders if she's going to run or yell at him or just shut down and push him away. )

I know it's ingrained in you and you're built to survive but I just want you to know that you're safe. Around me.

( he thinks so, at least. he wants her to be. )

[ this makes her uncomfortable. she knows why; he's telling her everything that she has wanted to hear, but even though she has had that desire... she still wants to run from it. wanting something and having it is two very different things.

tilting her head slightly, she looks at him with a bemused arch of her brow. ] Stefan, I'm sitting on top of you wearing lingerie and your shirt. You've met my daughter and my mother when no one else has. If I wasn't comfortable, do you really think I'd be here right now?

[ she'll give him at least that.

but the truth is, she'd still be here, sitting astride him, even if she wasn't comfortable around him. the fact that he's met her daughter a couple of times and got to meet her mother and was welcomed into that fold is what she wouldn't share with anyone. it feels terrifying to her that she's worn her katerina skin more with him than she has with anyone else or herself. the last time she did was in 1492. ]

And yet, you're still thinking about running, aren't you?

( she's here, she's with him but he knows her well enough to know that she wants to run. maybe not all the time, maybe not consistently but she's had thoughts about it probably even right now.

he reaches up and slides his hands down the sides of his shirt, giving her a little tug. )

I like...that you're here. I'd be alone if you weren't. And I'm so tired of being alone.

[ that confession's a very big surprise.

even though katherine knows stefan's occasionally a sufferer of believing he's not wanted—something she thinks is so, so utterly stupid, even though she's started to see it from his perspective—it's still a surprise someone as socially inclined as him feels alone. he has friends, family... people are drawn to him like moths to flames, and yet...

her desire to run is still there, but he'll see she's not moving.

she reaches for his hands, firstly wrapping hers around the back of his before she slides her fingers between his own. tilting her head to the side, she looks at him softly. ] You feel alone?

Sometimes.

( maybe not right now but it's definitely been something he's felt strongly over the past decades. he shrugs, looking away from her and sighing. )

People leave me, Katherine. I've told you that it happens. It's happened here. It just...happens. You haven't done something like that, Katherine? Where you just get used to feeling a certain way and so you just feel that way no matter what? You just start feeling that way to protect yourself while you expect it to happen again?

[ quietly, ] You know I have.

[ for the last five centuries, in fact. but he doesn't need that detail, does he? he already knows. maybe he doesn't know when that need to preserve herself in such a way started for her, but he knows it exists. he's had to deal with her tenacious need to protect herself at all costs, even at the expense of him. he's had to deal with it in the last five minutes.

while it's tempting to reach down and nudge his face towards her, she doesn't. he'll look at her in his own time.

brows furrowing together, she doesn't take her eyes off of him. ] How long have you been feeling like this?

I don't know. Sometimes, I don't really notice it and sometimes I do. It's just —

( stefan looks up at her and gives his head a shake. he's gotten use to feeling alone even when he's surrounded by people. he's gotten used to being the one that gets left behind or ignored or forgotten depending on what was going on.

stefan gives his head another shake. )

I deal with it just like you deal with your stuff. It's fine.

By running away and not dealing with it at all?

[ her tone lacks a lot of self-deprecation and derision. this may be the only time he'll ever get this out of her when it comes to how katherine chooses to deal with her own shit. she's not a liar when she says she doesn't turn it off and chooses to deal with it, she's simply someone who lets it chase her until she thinks she's outmanoeuvred it.

she highly suspects stefan's telling her he doesn't deal with it at all.

scrunching up her face, she says slightly playfully, ] It hasn't exactly worked out well for me, so I wouldn't recommend it.

I'm not running now, am I?

( he'd been in this place for a few months and there were still times he felt that loneliness creeping up on him even when he was with people. he knows it's the sting of losses that he really hasn't dealt with and the fact that he seems to always be the one left behind.

he licks his lips and forces a smile up at her. )

Can't run here. Nowhere to go.

Well, you do have a very intimidating woman in your lap right now...

[ she doesn't quite know how she's meant to take that. maybe she's not meant to take it at all. stefan not physically running is clearly a given, but... he's not talking about the physical, is he?

since when did he become someone who made her stop running, even for a short amount of time?

she lifts their hands slightly and then lowers them onto her thighs. with a smile, she tells him matter-of-factly, ] I wouldn't try her if I was you.

Oh yeah?

( this time, the smile stefan cracks is genuine, warmer, sincere. he scratches at her thighs for a moment before tilting his head. )

I happen to know said intimidating woman likes to cuddle. And I could take that knowledge and just tell everyone.

( he wouldn't but he could. )

[ she knows she's blushing. she tries to hide it with her smile, although that must only bring attention to the fact she's flushing. at least she doesn't duck her head, that'd be a dead giveaway.

she lets him move his hands, even if he wants to pull them away from her.

tilting her head upward, she informs him, ] And then you'd have to take a number in a very long line of men and women who want to cuddle her. Do you really want that, Mr. Salvatore?

I think that depends entirely on her. Would she be allowing all these men and women to cuddle her? Or would she be discerning?

( he's pretty sure katherine wouldn't let just anyone tuck up against her and hold her for several hours unless she was planning to stake them in the morning. )

I think she would be discerning.

Hm. [ she purses her lips thoughtfully, scrunching her face up on purpose to feign serious thought. ] I have it on good authority she's very, very picky.

[ curling her hand into a fist, she raises it and begins to count on her fingers the criteria she's actually starting to form. ] You need to have a strong jawline... [ eyeing him for a moment for inspiration, she glances down at his shoulders. ] Broad shoulders, nice lips, and... [ with a glance up at that thick, soft hair of his, she smiles, ] hero hair.

[ tilting her head to the side, she pretends to consider who could possibly fit that bill... ]

Do you know anyone who might fit that description? That's not including his—or her—personality and level of broodiness.

I don't.

( he has no idea who she could be talking about. he shakes his head, feigning absolute confusion. )

But I could probably put the word out for you, ask on the network. Maybe there is someone out there that meets all your bullet points. Though, I don't really know how you define hero hair.

( always with the hair, katherine. )

[ it's nice hair.

biting her bottom lip for a moment, she arches her brow as she tries not to smile too widely in amusement at him. ]

Will you also be assessing any of the potential candidates? Or will that be left for me to do?

[ she has a very good feeling on what his answer will be. ]

I'll help you.

( maybe he wouldn't be as bluntly judgmental as katherine would be if their positions were reversed here but he would absolutely want to at least let his opinion be known. )

I wouldn't want to leave you in the hands of someone subpar.

[ oh, this is starting to get a little more interesting. maybe she can corner him if she really tries.

she hums for a moment, wanting to have him lower his guard just a little so he can play right into the palm of her hand. but she knows stefan—he hardly comes without a stubborn fight. ]

And what do you consider subpar? I think it's my right to know, given you'll be basing your opinion on who I get to cuddle next on it.

Someone who doesn't respect you or treat you like you should.

( and yes, he thinks he could tell who that was by the look of the other person and a few conversations with them. )

I wouldn't want someone to be tapped to cuddle with you and end being terrible at it. I'd feel pretty bad.

Hm.

[ oh, she likes where this is going. all she needs now is for him to tell her there's a height and diary requirement, and then she's set she wouldn't mind hearing about what he'd use as criteria for treating her right. does it include complimenting her shoes? opening doors for her? ]

How bad?

Very bad.

( because he'd have been the one to nominate someone for this very prestigious job only for it to turn out terribly. )

If you don't like how I apologize now, you'll hate it if this ever happened because I'd never stop.

Or maybe you need to find a different way to apologise.

[ she's certain if she hears "i'm sorry" come from his mouth one more time, she'll take all the shirts of his she wants and go back to her townhouse for at least a week. while she has always wanted to receive an apology, it's not from stefan salvatore.

reaching back, she sweeps her hair up and lets it fall against her back again.

narrowing her eyes in mock thought, she presses her lips together and makes him wait just a moment. ] Perhaps a different way of putting that mouth to use?

Oh?

( he pretends to think about it, tapping his chin like it's a very serious thing to consider. )

What, like going down on you?

( hey, just because he's not a dirty talker doesn't mean he can't do it when properly motivated. )

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