manipulative | deerington contact.

( he swallows, relaxed by the touch and excited by the words. )

I don't...have any of my clothes from that time. Would you want to do that?

( he breathes in, breathes out, watching her hands move against his thighs. )

With me?

[ ngl, she enjoys him being nervous. ]

What, curl my hair? [ she laughs.

of course, she does know what he's asking. katherine kind of wants to push him to say the words. is that wrong of her? maybe it's a little unfair... but they're friends, so he should be able to ask for whatever he wants to ask for without fearing judgement. ]

Well, yes.

( he clears his throat and reaches down to brush his fingers against her wrist. it's the lightest, barest of touches before he pulls his hand back. )

Would you want to act like we were back then?

[ even though she fully expects him to say what he says, it's still a little surprising to hear him propose they revert back to their 1864 selves. she had kind of thought he looked back on that time with some regret. she did, but not in the way he always postured as resenting his time with her ]

Okay.

[ it surprises her how agreeable she is, and she wears that surprise on her face.

peering down at him with a sly smile, it's a little easy to step back into those corsets of being 1864's lady katherine pierce. ] Mr. Salvatore.

Miss Pierce.

( he can't really bow at the waist but he does bow his head as best he can and smile easily at her. )

A pleasure to see you again. I hope the day finds you well.

( he tries not to laugh at how that sounds after so many years. )

[ he may not try to laugh, but katherine does. it's just so absurdly cute how he seems to try and step back into those shoes he has very fortunately outgrown. ]

It's Miss Katherine.

[ leaning forward, she brushes her hair through his thick hair, as if she can make it grow into what it had looked like so many decades ago. ] I think your hair needs to be a little floppier than this.

I don't think you're going to manage to get my hair to look anything like it did back then. It's not possible.

( his hair was much, much shorter and he wasn't one to wear it down these days. )

Unless I take a shower and I'm too comfortable to do that.

Good.

[ she withdraws her hands and rests them on her thighs. she's pretty comfortable sitting astride him as she is. unable to stay still for very long, she picks at his plaid shirt with her fingers, tugging it slightly as if it's not sitting right against her.

glancing down for a moment to run her thumb across a thick dark line on the fabric, she feels a touch shy when she admits, ] Because I'm very comfortable, too.

[ looking up at him, she purses her lips and shrugs a shoulder. ] And if you passed out, I would leave you there. I've had enough of carrying you around, Stefan.

(does she know the words that are about to come out of his mouth? she should since he's said them a lot. )

I'm sorry.

( he sighs, looking away and feeling terrible that he caused so much damage tonight. he knows his father had been the one to really ruin things but he hadn't helped. )

But thank you for helping me.

[ katherine groans, annoyed, and shifts on him so that she can sit astride his hips. she uses that as her vantage point to shove at his shoulders. she's exasperated and amused, ] Stop.

[ tugging at the shirt she wears, she straightens it so that she can at least look presentable while wearing lingerie and his shirt while sitting astride him. she makes it work. ]

You're welcome. [ said a little awkwardly.

brushing her hair over her shoulder, katherine seems to settle down with the fidgeting with her hands clasped in her lap. focusing on his neck, she tries to appear in control when she feels possibly as frayed, if a little less, than him. ] I think I may have made things worse... coming in the way I did. I could've thought about announcing myself for a little longer.

[ it seemed as though the moment giuseppe heard her voice, he changed tack with stefan. she'd endangered him when all she'd wanted to do was find out why his bedroom door was closed and locked. ]

Or he would have done the exact same thing that he did and no one would have been there to realize it and I would have bled out.

( stefan's of the mind that his father was always going to show up and hurt him. he was always going to think that would be the way to fix his mistake and keep him away from those he thought of as evil and monstrous.

even if stefan was one of those people now. )

I don't think you coming in or not was going to change what happened. He was there for that reason, Katherine. You being there just meant someone was around to help me after it happened.

[ she wants to say he'd be all right if she hadn't been there, that maybe giuseppe would've chosen to shoot him once rather than twice… but she doesn't know. that's the thing, no one knows how it would've played out without her interference.

the conversation was making her feel a little uncomfortable. her, helping stefan? all she's used to is hurting him. she doesn't want to be that person anymore, but... she feels like it's wrong of her not to be.

looking at him, her gaze lowers. ] I was very scared. [ turns out, that sounds very difficult for katherine pierce to say. she then narrows her eyes, disliking that she's opted to say that rather than threatening him to ensure he never dies again lest she murder him herself.

lifting her gaze, she tilts her chin up defiantly and arches her brow, ] If you do it again, I won't put on my corset. [ she tugs at his plaid shirt as if she hadn't buttoned it up to hide most of what she was wearing away. ] Or let you see anything else.

Edited 2020-05-06 10:03 (UTC)

Hey.

( stefan focuses on her admitting that was scared rather than anything else. he sits up, careful not to jostle her free of her perch on him but he wants to be closer to her. )

I'm not going to leave you alone.

( he says it quietly in a tone that brokers no argument. he's not. that had been close before but he doesn't plan on dying. )

I promised and I intend to keep that promise, no matter what.

( she'd been alone enough in her life. )

[ she does everything in her power to not move back when he sits up. she wants to. it's a natural instinct of hers to lean back when someone comes too close, and given what he says next… she really does feel like running away.

a part of her does wish he hadn't remembered that.

swallowing thickly, she grits her teeth and presses her lips into a thin line. ]

That was only for Klaus.

[ it's really weak, considering that that man hasn't been so much as a significant blip on her radar since stefan informed her he was unfortunately here. maybe stefan had something to do with it, or maybe deerington was keeping an eye out for her.

but it's still very, very weak. he hadn't left her alone with nadia or after she left that first night when he could've. ]

So, does that mean you want me to leave you alone?

( does she always have to fight? does she always have to take something very vulnerable that she'd said and try and deflect that she'd said it?

he shakes his head. )

It wasn't only for Klaus. You know that.

( and so does he. )

[ having had to fight for everything she's ever had has ingrained in her the need to fight for everything. fight for what she wants, fight for what she doesn't want, and to fight people who threaten to upset the balance she's created for herself that's worked in her lonesome for so many centuries.

fighting stefan does feel somewhat natural. what's most organic for her is only letting him in some way before ensuring there's distance between them.

quietly, ] No, I don't want you to do that. [ it's very hard for her to admit as much, even though she wants to and knows she has to.

she can't help her sigh. she's frustrated at him for being shot and still trying to look out for her, and she's mostly annoyed at herself.

brushing her hair away from her face, she fiddles with the collar of her shirt before she drops her hand. ] And I know that.

Do you wish you hadn't said that to me?

( about being alone, he means. he has a feeling she wishes she'd kept that to herself even if it had been the catalyst he'd needed to go to the hospital. it had accomplished what it was meant to. )

I don't want to leave you alone either. You don't have to fight me.

( even if it was ingrained and instinctual, he wants her to know that she doesn't have to constantly press back against him. )

[ yes.

katherine wishes she hadn't said a lot of things, but many of those things proved to be the catalyst to get them here. at the end of the day, she always feels better having told him how she felt or something that she had on her mind. she would always come to never regret it.

but it's still a change in her usual status quo, and that's scary.

she sighs. ] I'm not fighting you. [ yes, she is—and she knows it.

she thinks to leave it there, but she knows he'll either push her or worse, leave her alone. ] And I don't. But you get why it's so hard for me, right?

I get it. I just want you to feel comfortable around me.

( and while he thinks she does sometimes, there are other times when he honestly wonders if she's going to run or yell at him or just shut down and push him away. )

I know it's ingrained in you and you're built to survive but I just want you to know that you're safe. Around me.

( he thinks so, at least. he wants her to be. )

[ this makes her uncomfortable. she knows why; he's telling her everything that she has wanted to hear, but even though she has had that desire... she still wants to run from it. wanting something and having it is two very different things.

tilting her head slightly, she looks at him with a bemused arch of her brow. ] Stefan, I'm sitting on top of you wearing lingerie and your shirt. You've met my daughter and my mother when no one else has. If I wasn't comfortable, do you really think I'd be here right now?

[ she'll give him at least that.

but the truth is, she'd still be here, sitting astride him, even if she wasn't comfortable around him. the fact that he's met her daughter a couple of times and got to meet her mother and was welcomed into that fold is what she wouldn't share with anyone. it feels terrifying to her that she's worn her katerina skin more with him than she has with anyone else or herself. the last time she did was in 1492. ]

And yet, you're still thinking about running, aren't you?

( she's here, she's with him but he knows her well enough to know that she wants to run. maybe not all the time, maybe not consistently but she's had thoughts about it probably even right now.

he reaches up and slides his hands down the sides of his shirt, giving her a little tug. )

I like...that you're here. I'd be alone if you weren't. And I'm so tired of being alone.

[ that confession's a very big surprise.

even though katherine knows stefan's occasionally a sufferer of believing he's not wanted—something she thinks is so, so utterly stupid, even though she's started to see it from his perspective—it's still a surprise someone as socially inclined as him feels alone. he has friends, family... people are drawn to him like moths to flames, and yet...

her desire to run is still there, but he'll see she's not moving.

she reaches for his hands, firstly wrapping hers around the back of his before she slides her fingers between his own. tilting her head to the side, she looks at him softly. ] You feel alone?

Sometimes.

( maybe not right now but it's definitely been something he's felt strongly over the past decades. he shrugs, looking away from her and sighing. )

People leave me, Katherine. I've told you that it happens. It's happened here. It just...happens. You haven't done something like that, Katherine? Where you just get used to feeling a certain way and so you just feel that way no matter what? You just start feeling that way to protect yourself while you expect it to happen again?

[ quietly, ] You know I have.

[ for the last five centuries, in fact. but he doesn't need that detail, does he? he already knows. maybe he doesn't know when that need to preserve herself in such a way started for her, but he knows it exists. he's had to deal with her tenacious need to protect herself at all costs, even at the expense of him. he's had to deal with it in the last five minutes.

while it's tempting to reach down and nudge his face towards her, she doesn't. he'll look at her in his own time.

brows furrowing together, she doesn't take her eyes off of him. ] How long have you been feeling like this?

I don't know. Sometimes, I don't really notice it and sometimes I do. It's just —

( stefan looks up at her and gives his head a shake. he's gotten use to feeling alone even when he's surrounded by people. he's gotten used to being the one that gets left behind or ignored or forgotten depending on what was going on.

stefan gives his head another shake. )

I deal with it just like you deal with your stuff. It's fine.

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