manipulative | deerington contact.

What about the feeling of the walls surrounding you?

[ the small space only grows tighter. it's still not as tight as the safe, but it should feel like he's trapped in a closet where he can still move about. the air feels a little stuffier.

she watches his face and listens to his heartbeat so she knows when to stop this. the last thing she wants to do is have him shove her away when she's finally gotten close to him, literally, figuratively and emotionally. ]

How do you feel now?

Okay.

( he's not panicking but his heart does pick up its pace and he starts moving, squirming just a bit to make sure he can still move his arms and legs. he reaches to stretch his arms, expecting to hit something that stops him. even when he doesn't, he still keeps his arms up like that might stop the walls from closing in. )

It's...it's fine. I'm still fine.

[ if he lifts his hand up just a touch higher, he'll hit an invisible wall. it's like one of bonnie's boundary spells has been inflicted here—call the witch's appearance inspiring. his feet won't hit anything, but his long arms will. there's still quite a lot of distance between him and the boundary.

she turns so she can lie on her side and prop her head up by her elbow and watches him studiously. the quickening of his heart isn't lost on her. ]

Is this too much?

I just want to make sure I can still move around.

( there's still space and while he doesn't exactly like this, it's not as bad as the safe was. there's no water that makes it cold and dark and terrifying either. )

I'm okay.

( he takes a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. )

[ katherine doesn't make the area they lie in grow any smaller. she can hear his heart race in his chest and his attempts at calming himself aren't lost on her. she thinks this is enough for now—either this evening or for this very minute. pushing him is what will ultimately trigger his fight and flight response, and as much as she wants to find out what it is that sets off his panic, she doesn't want to push too much too fast. ]

It's okay if you're not. [ she reaches out to brush her fingers against his cheek. ]

I just need to be able to move.

( if he can move, he can get out and if he can get out, he's not going to drown. and though he doesn't know where she's got them, he can still move enough to feel okay. )

I'm fine.

( he let's his hands settle back and stares up into the darkness. )

[ she watches him for a moment, trying to gauge his true reaction. it's a little hard to when he's so good at putting up a front, but katherine can only hope she's starting to read between the lines with him. ]

So you don't feel anything being trapped in here as we are? I want you to be honest.

[ maybe she needs to tighten the space, but she doesn't want to. ]

I don't know. I don't...like it but I can deal with it. I can deal with it.

( maybe that was better than 'i'm fine.' he doesn't really want to be trapped anywhere but this isn't so bad. he's not panicking and he can focus and tell himself there's space. )

I'm good, I promise.

[ that's comforting, right?

katherine licks her lips and wonders if that's her cue to bring it in. she doesn't want to go hard all too soon... but she doesn't want to not help him, either. ]

Should I... make it feel smaller? Or is this enough for now?

[ whatever he chooses to do will be fine by her. she doubts this will be a one time thing. she hopes it isn't—she really enjoys having his trust.

she ensures to brush her fingers against his cheek and smile softly at him. ] You're doing well, Stefan.

Not right now.

( he's okay right now but he doesn't want to chance it. he thinks if he'd gone without choking her tonight, he might have been better able to handle it but he needs more time. )

This is enough. I don't...want anymore.

( it's hard to admit because he wants to be able to handle everything but he knows he can't. )

Okay.

[ katherine honours that choice and doesn't make the invisible walls come any closer to him. she has a feeling his insistence of being fine is more for himself than for her. she would imagine this would make him feel panicked in some way. ]

We'll just stay like this for a little while. [ she shuffles closer to him and lies down on her back, letting her arm brush against his. ]

Okay.

( he's still wary that, despite her words, these walls will close in but when he doesn't feel that choking lack of space, he takes a breath and feels himself relax very slightly. )

Are we anywhere specific right now?

( he knows she's in his head, at least. )

Not really.

[ the great katherine pierce had only thought of a dark place of existence. ]

I did put us in a very big, wooden coffin. [ buried somewhere, maybe. the darkness is as far as she's thought of, not wanting to put too much energy in conjuring up something so traumatising for him right after he's had an episode. ]

Should've given us at least a pillow, but it's too late now. [ it's a joke, but something she'll consider for next time. ]

Coffin. How stereotypical.

( vampires and their coffins, that is. he takes a breath, even managing a light laugh as he lays there. he does reach out a hand every so often just to make sure he can still stretch it out and not bump anything. )

You can lay on me if you're uncomfortable.

[ she does think to ask him if he wants her to do that, but she figures he wouldn't have asked unless he did. katherine moves so that she's lying on top of him—in both the dream and in reality—and rests her head on his shoulder. she wraps her arm around his middle. ]

I thought it'd be poetic. Have you ever slept in a coffin? I can tell you, it's not fun.

I haven't.

( the closest he's come is...the safe, he guesses and that hadn't really been sleeping. he'd just been dying. )

When did you sleep in a coffin?

A very long time ago. It may have been with Dracula.

[ she scrunches up her face thoughtfully. it's very clear that she's teasing. all she wants is for him to feel good about himself, especially after tonight's events.

she brushes her hand against his chest. ] You're my favourite vampire.

I bet you say that to all the vampires.

( his voice is still slightly strained as he says that but it's not as bad as it was before. )

Don't you?

Only to the ones I'm dating.

[ it's still an odd descriptor for him and her—for "stefan and katherine"—but she lifts her head and peers down at him with a small smile. it's still strange to think that she and stefan have come this far—or even taken this step at all—but despite how it makes her feel uncomfortably out of her element, she's learned to trust that he'll make sure she doesn't stumble.

the black nothingness starts to slowly bleed back into the warm light of his bedroom. ]

And how many are you dating?

( he knows it's just him. even though he still has something over his eyes in the real world, he can feel the darkness starting to fade somehow. )

Do I have to go fight anyone?

Will you?

[ while she's no stranger to men fighting over her, stefan actually putting on his boxing gloves for the first time since he's known her would be very wild and very unpredictable. it's something she likes the idea of.

she looks down at his shoulder and traces the tip of her finger against the fabric of his shirt. ]

What if it's just you?

Then, good.

( because he wants it to just be him. he wants it to just be him and her and no sharing allowed. )

It's just you for me, you know.

( just in case she was wondering. )

[ she did know that… but she likes the confirmation, especially since she does often find herself worrying about elena and caroline. it means something coming from stefan. it always means something coming from him. ]

Good.

[ it's a soft parroting of his words.

she leans forward to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. ] It's going to take some time, but we'll get through this together.

[ the safe, silas, whatever else is nested in this ptsd of his. ]

I don't know if you've ever kissed me on the nose before.

( it makes him smile, that little display of intimacy. )

As long as we've known each other and as much as we've done, I think that's the first time you've kissed me there.

[ her brows furrow together as she peers down at him. it's such a strange yet cute observation—she hadn't even known whether or not she has kissed him on the nose before. ]

Did you not like it?

[ despite her question, she does smile. she has a feeling he'd like anything she does—her habit of tracing his face, kissing his nose, his brow... as long as she's kissing him, she thinks he's happy. ]

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