manipulative | deerington contact.

( stefan finds that he can't really argue too much with what she's said. she's not wrong. he's obviously not over it and he doesn't know how to begin to move past it. )

Choking you shouldn't be how I start getting past it. That's not part of...whatever this is.

( he doesn't think he's going to be able to handle doing that to her again. he won't forgive himself. )

But it's a sign you need to get past it.

[ choking her probably is a start to getting past it, but katherine doesn't want to overwhelm him or give him any other reason to argue with her.

she unfolds her legs and sits on her knees. ] I want to help you if you'll let me.

This isn't because of Elena.

( maybe that had been part of it but that's what she'd told him last time and look how it turned out. )

That's not it.

( no more attributing this to elena. )

[ that's a very strange thing to state, but katherine wonders if he's trying to get her to not look any deeper into it. ]

Are you sure?

[ her eyes narrow slightly as she looks at him. the last thing she wants to do is talk about elena and how he felt and feels for her, but katherine knows that in order to be worthy of him, she has to be selfless. that means accepting every little thing about him, even his questionable taste in the women who came before and after her.

she ensures to approach what she wants to say tentatively. ] She's one of the people who didn't look for you.

You told me that the first time, Katherine. That's what you said everything was stemming from.

( and he'd believed her at the time and tried to put it all behind him but now it was back. )

It's not about Elena. My life doesn't revolve around her.

[ she tilts her head to the side with a frown. elena gilbert being the person everything stems from—that sounds like her when she's trying to prove a negative point. ]

I agree.

[ let's steer far away from making everything about elena. katherine's tired of it and it appears stefan is, too.

she does want to move closer to him, but she imagines she may spook him if she does. ]

What were you feeling when we were in the safe? Other than anger.

I don't know. Fear. Desperation. Resignation, eventually because I was just going to keep dying in there.

( he shrugs. )

I don't really remember all that much. I sometimes hallucinated but it was mostly just pain and dying.

[ katherine's glad she has never been locked in a safe in her long life. at least for her, being able to run to anywhere on the globe has meant she still gets to move, not be restricted, and not be stuck with only herself as company.

she is grateful he doesn't try to fight her right now.

she picks at the shirt she wears. ]

Is it because of the darkness? Or the enclosed space?

It's because I just kept dying. I would drown over and over. Hundreds of times a day, Katherine. It hurt. I was alone and I just died. That's all I did.

( died and hallucinated. )

I didn't have a lot of time to really think about the whys and hows.

You do now.

[ katherine sits up on her knees and shuffles over to him. she doesn't think twice in straddling his legs and sitting on his knees. she hasn't gotten him to touch her neck yet and she's tired of being so far away from him.

she rests her hands on his thighs, not wanting to be disconnected from him. ]

You need to figure out your trigger, Stefan. It's the only way you can try and deal with this.

You mean a trigger outside of being stuffed in a small space and made to drown for weeks on end?

( that wasn't a trigger?

he sighs, letting her climb on him though he doesn't reach out to touch her yet and he still keeps his eyes averted from looking at her neck and the ice that she's currently pressing against it. )

That's the trigger.

Maybe that's what we need to work through.

[ she appears very unfazed by his words, even though she does realise he's not touching her. she's tempted to lift his hands to do so, but she leaves him be for now. it may only push him further away if she makes him so much as graze her skin.

tilting her head to the side, she purses her lips together as she thinks aloud. ] Not exactly the drowning part, but the small space part.

How?

( because the last time they'd done that, he'd nearly ripped her neck off an then they'd almost kissed.

he swallows thickly, shaking his head. )

We tried it.

[ she tilts her head to the side but doesn't ask. she doesn't want to waste time or give him the opportunity to go on a tangent and never come back to here. besides, it's not important. what is important is that they tried something and the universe around them probably gave them no time to let it work. ]

Unless you have a coffin hidden somewhere... [ katherine moves off of him and pushes the icepack onto the floor. she goes to his set of drawers and rifles through it, grabbing a few of his ties in her fist. she returns to him and takes up her perch of sitting on his legs once more.

she barely knows what she's doing, but some of her best plans stem from that. ]

It's not the safe and it's not going to be the safe. Do you trust me?

Yes.

( but he is a little hesitant upon seeing ties in her hands. he knows she can't shove him in a safe and climb in with him while he's not in control.

but he doesn't know what she's doing either and that's a little nerve wracking too. )

Why?

I want to help you, Stefan. [ that'd be the key moment to move toward him and wrap a tie around his eyes, wouldn't it? katherine doesn't move. she simply sits on his legs and watches him.

fiddling with the ties wrapped around her hands, she feels nervous. she doesn't know how to help anyone, let alone the one person who takes it upon himself to save everyone else. ]

Maybe we need to put you in a dark, small space. Not the safe, just somewhere blank... and see how you react to that. If you want to.

Uh.

( he immediately feels his heart thump a little louder, eyes flickering around the room to see where she might try and put him. )

I don't...have any places like that.

( the only thing he can think of is the closet and he doesn't think that'll work. )

That's fine.

[ she ensures to remain as calm as possible while his heart races in his chest. she wants to reach out and help calm him, but she suspects nothing she does will achieve that.

they are vampires with incredibly outrageous abilities, after all. ]

We don't need an actual room for it.

( stefan doesn't follow at first, giving his head a shake and looking at her in confusion. )

What do we need, then?

( he still doesn't know why she's got his ties in her hands. she can't have just wanted to feel the fabric beneath her hands. )

These to cover your eyes. [ she stretches out one of his ties between her hands. ] And you to open your mind to me.

[ she knows from experience that she can easily push her way into his head, but she doesn't want to force her way into his mind when he doesn't want her there. if he doesn't want to do this, she won't push. she's already made him relive the safe once before on dry land and she doesn't want to make it so he thinks being with her is unsafe. ]

Don't put me in a safe, Katherine. I can't — I can't do that.

( he's willing to let her try this but he can't go in a safe even without water. he can't, not so soon after he relived drowning and dying. )

Promise me. You won't put me in a safe.

( he's not letting her do this until he hears that promise. )

[ she frowns. ] I'm not going to put you in the safe.

[ she'd done it once and only once, and she never wants to do it again. desperation had dictated that choice, and it's one she'll never make again. stefan's trust in her is something she values incredibly highly. ]

I promise, there will be no safe.

Okay.

( he tries to relax a little but his heart still thumps and he can still feel his nerves buzzing. he hates that he doesn't know what to expect but he guesses that maybe that's good so he can't steel himself. )

Go ahead.

[ katherine doesn't immediately make him see complete darkness. she moves along his legs so that she's straddling his lap. she leans closer to him so that she can stretch out one of the ties in her hands and brings it to the back of his head. she makes sure that she brushes her fingers through his hair as she does so. ]

Close your eyes.

[ she's not going to make him see darkness in his mind or literally without him appearing as comfortable as he can make himself. ]

( stefan blinks a few times but listens, closing his eyes and keeping them closed. he tries to breathe normally even if his body wants to start taking deep, gulping breaths in preparation for water. )

Okay.

( his fingers move restlessly along his sheets, opening and closing involuntarily. )

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