manipulative | deerington contact.

A little sore, but I'll live.

[ really, the icepack is more for him. her neck may hurt and her throat may still feel like sandpaper to talk through, but she's fine. it's hardly anything close to what it could've been.

katherine manoeuvres herself so she's sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing him. she moves the icepack to the other side of her neck. she doesn't wince nor look pained; she simply watches him. ]

How are you feeling?

I'm fine.

( it's automatic, instinctive. he sighs and leans back against the pillows, staring forward because even with the shirt and the ice pack, he doesn't want to look at her right now because all he's going to do is what he's done. )

I'll be fine.

( at least he was giving her that? that he wasn't maybe okay right now but he'd get there. )

[ as much as katherine wants to drop the icepack from her neck, she keeps it there for him. she notices how he doesn't look at her. she knows why—his guilt must be eating him up inside—but it doesn't make her feel entirely great when she's so used to him looking at her.

she waits a moment before she moves the icepack to the other side, resting it more against her shoulder than her neck. ]

Did you want to talk about it? [ she asks it as gently as possible, fully expecting him to decline. ]

I told you what it was.

( silas and the safe. being held underwater. drowning. just drowning. )

I thought you were someone else.

( and he'd reacted violently and without thought. )

[ she hums and nods, taking a moment to think about what she wants to say next. he may not be one to talk about his feelings, but it's a little clear to her that he might want to. if he didn't, he could've ignored her question and not answered her at all.

she lets her hand with the icepack drop to the bed beside her. ]

What was he doing to you? Putting you back in the safe?

I was already in the safe. He was just holding me there.

( and he was a two thousand year old creature with strength that even katherine couldn't get close to. )

I didn't want to drown again.

( he's so, so sick of drowning. )

[ that's understandable—she wouldn't want him to drown and she wouldn't want to drown herself. it's a survival instinct that she understands more than anyone.

she shifts and moves from her spot on the edge of the bed to the pillows. she doesn't touch him; she crosses her legs and faces him, resting her hands on her thighs. ]

Did he hold you down when it all happened before?

He didn't have to. We thought he was dead but he wasn't. He surprised me and I didn't really have any time to prepare.

( one minute he was fine, the next he was in a safe. )

I woke up in the water.

I'm sorry.

[ she doesn't know the details of his time in the safe, and she can only expect them to be harrowing. she doesn't take her eyes off of him, even if he does look away from her. ]

You dreamt him putting you back in the safe?

I dreamed I was in the safe and I could hear everyone talking about me like it wasn't a big deal. No one cared, no one looked for me.

( he was drowning and life went on. )

Just like what happened when this was real. No one cared, no one even knew. It was just that again. I'm fine.

[ he says he's fine and she knows he's far from it. ]

I care.

[ it may not matter given that this had happened to him in the past, but she's here and she cares. she wants to reach out and touch him, but she's not entirely sure if it's welcome. he had been so horrified by what he'd done that she doesn't want to overwhelm him. ]

It is a big deal. I don't want you to ever feel like you don't matter, because you do. You matter, Stefan. What happened to you was unfair.

It happened.

( and there was nothing either of them could do about that. it happened and he'd had to go through it over and over again. no one had come for him until he'd managed to get himself out of there. )

I just need to get over it.

( he just doesn't know how. )

Right.

[ she draws her bottom lip between her teeth and nods. she has no intentions of letting it go or simply brushing it under the rug. maybe elena and damon did this, and perhaps caroline tried to fix him with some elaborately concocted neutroic plan, but none of it's okay.

she remembers how he had gripped her and has apologised profusely when they found themselves in that safe.

she tilts her head to the side as she looks at him. ] Would you say that to me if I was the one who was trapped in a safe for three months?

You weren't in the safe. The question's moot.

( he also doesn't want to imagine that. he doesn't want to think of her in the safe, dying over and over again. it's bad enough that he's reliving it, he doesn't want to think of her there. )

So, I wouldn't say anything because you weren't there.

[ she forgot just how stubborn stefan can be.

feeling a flare of frustration warm her chest, she refuses to give in to it as she forces herself to be patient. he'll fight her tooth and nail so that he can remain in his soggy pity party, but she's not elena, she's not damon, and she's not caroline.

if she has to play unfairly, then she will. considering those doors opened up so much that she would never have let him know about, she figures she's on an even playing ground with him. he may not have experienced klaus compelling her to stab himself, but he got to witness it. ]

I should just get over Klaus and everything he's done to me. [ she shrugs. ] It happened.

I didn't say that.

( he doesn't know why he thinks what klaus did to her is different than what silas did to him. she suffered for so long when it came to klaus. his suffering was very short in comparison. )

It's different, Katherine. It's different and I...it's different.

Why?

[ the last thing she wants to do is talk about klaus, but he's needed to provide a lesson to stefan. her fear of him is somewhat palpable now; stefan's seen her at her most vulnerable and weakest that his klaus is silas.

she looks at him expectantly, arching her brow in challenge. ]

Why's it different? Because it happened to me and not you?

No, it's because...you endured that for so much longer than I did. You not being over it is understandable.

( she went through so much that her not being over it is completely valid and absolutely something that's believable.

he went through three months of the safe. he should be over it. )

You deserve to still be getting past it at your own pace.

And you don't deserve to deal with it at your own pace?

[ she arches her brow. she leaves him no opportunity to rebuff her. ]

You were locked in a safe for three months, tossed into a quarry for three months where you drowned for three months. [ is she saying three months too much? she's trying to prove a point here. ] You had your identity catfished for three months and none of your friends noticed he wasn't you.

[ she doesn't want to draw his attention to what has clearly caused him hurt, but she wants to make a point.

very gently, ] That's a lot of trauma to deal with in such a short frame of time, Stefan.

( every single time she mentions how long he dealt with this, he winces. it feels like a sharp strike that's reopening old wounds one by one. )

I dealt with it. You helped me. That was supposed to be the end of it before I even got here.

( hadn't katherine herself told him it was because of unprocessed anger at elena? and he'd tried to get through that and it should have solved all of this? )

Clearly I didn't do a good enough job.

[ she has no idea how she helped him and she has no idea how she would even begin to. stefan isn't necessarily the guy who asks for help. he's not the type to accept it, either. she's not the person who tries to help, either. ]

One day, one week, and even one month of facing it head-on doesn't mean that it's over. It's clearly not over for you.

[ if her neck is anything to go by, she doubts stefan has dealt with it at all. ]

And there's no shame in that, Stefan. This type of thing doesn't have a timeline.

( stefan finds that he can't really argue too much with what she's said. she's not wrong. he's obviously not over it and he doesn't know how to begin to move past it. )

Choking you shouldn't be how I start getting past it. That's not part of...whatever this is.

( he doesn't think he's going to be able to handle doing that to her again. he won't forgive himself. )

But it's a sign you need to get past it.

[ choking her probably is a start to getting past it, but katherine doesn't want to overwhelm him or give him any other reason to argue with her.

she unfolds her legs and sits on her knees. ] I want to help you if you'll let me.

This isn't because of Elena.

( maybe that had been part of it but that's what she'd told him last time and look how it turned out. )

That's not it.

( no more attributing this to elena. )

[ that's a very strange thing to state, but katherine wonders if he's trying to get her to not look any deeper into it. ]

Are you sure?

[ her eyes narrow slightly as she looks at him. the last thing she wants to do is talk about elena and how he felt and feels for her, but katherine knows that in order to be worthy of him, she has to be selfless. that means accepting every little thing about him, even his questionable taste in the women who came before and after her.

she ensures to approach what she wants to say tentatively. ] She's one of the people who didn't look for you.

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