manipulative | deerington contact.

( stefan nods, staring at himself in the mirror before turning off the water and straightening up. he doesn't really like what he sees so he turns away. )

Okay.

( he sounds slow, flat. )

I'll come back to bed in a few minutes.

( maybe. )

Okay.

[ katherine makes no move to get up and walk back to the bed. she doubts "a few minutes" will be a few minutes. she suspects he believes he'll be up and out of the bathroom and be able to face her, but she knows in reality he wants to hide. she doesn't want him to hide from her; he has no reason to.

after a few minutes, katherine stands. she moves to the bathroom door and waits a few moments before she opens it. she doesn't step inside yet, not wanting to crowd him. ]

I'm fine.

( he's not surprised at all that she hadn't left. the door opens and he can feel her there even if he doesn't see her. he just sighs, letting his shoulders slouch. )

It was just a nightmare. I thought you were someone else. I'm sorry.

( for choking her and leaving his finger marks on her skin. )

[ that's a lie, and they both know it. katherine takes him acknowledging her as a good sign and an invitation to step inside. she comes to stand behind him and wastes very little time in pressing herself to his back and wrapping her arms around his waist. she's here, and a little choking isn't going to make her pack her bags and leave him to deal with this by himself. ]

It's okay.

[ hugging him to her, she rests her cheek against his back. she ensures to keep her grip around him firm so he remembers she's unshakeable. ]

What was happening to you?

( stefan shakes his head, feeling very undeserving of her comfort and attention after what he'd done. but he's selfish and he needs it so he doesn't flinch away either.

his jaw tightens and he doesn't answer for a few long seconds. )

It's not okay.

( he was supposed to have this under control but apparently he didn't. )

It was Silas. The safe.

[ it's starting to piece together for her now.

katherine doesn't pull away from him. flattening her palms against his stomach, she ensures to push herself closer to him so he knows she has his back. no matter what happened in his bed, she's not going anywhere. it's clear that trip back into the safe has dug up everything he felt he'd buried. ]

What was he doing to you? [ she thinks she knows, but her assumption could easily be wrong. the water had to have been enough to choke him. she keeps her tone gentle. ] Choking you?

Holding me underneath the water.

( and when silas's grip had relented, he'd reacted and tried to choke him except he'd been choking katherine instead.

he shudders, seeing those bruises in his mind's eyes again. )

I attacked him. I'm sorry, I thought you were him.

[ katherine closes her eyes momentarily and only hugs him tighter. leaning up, she kisses the base of his neck and rests her chin on his back. she wishes this was something she could take away for him. ]

I'm just glad you're okay.

[ her neck will heal. this isn't the first time stefan's choked her and she hopes, moving forward, it's a lot more fun than being attributed to a nightmare. ]

He has me to get through if he wants to get to you.

I'm fine.

( maybe he's fine. or maybe he's not. he thought that maybe he'd gotten past the safe when katherine had first confronted him about it but apparently being shoved into it again just brought it all back. )

I just — this shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have put my hands on you.

( he shakes his head, smacking a hand down against the sink. )

[ she jumps. she doesn't expect him to smack his hands against the sink, and while that causes her to jump against his back, she keeps her arms wrapped tightly around him. nothing he does is going to have her running for the hills. ]

I know you wouldn't hurt me, Stefan.

[ he's had plenty of opportunities to do so, and he refuses to, each and every time. she knows that it's not his intention. ]

You know that, too, right?

How can you say that when I just did hurt you, Katherine?

( his hand had been around her neck and he would have kept squeezing until she'd thrown him off or he'd managed to fight his way out of the nightmare. )

I just did. I put my hand around your neck and I choked you. I could do it again.

[ she sighs quietly. while her grip around his middle slackens, she doesn't stop touching him. she comes to stand beside him, leaning back against the bathroom sink so she can peers up at him. she keeps her hand on his hip. ]

You weren't trying to hurt me. I know that. You have to know that, too.

[ she peers up at him and tries to catch his eye. ]

It was just a nightmare.

It wasn't.

( he shakes his head and peers at himself in the mirror. he looks tired, worn but any of the rabid fear from the safe is gone for the moment. )

It's going to happen again. I can't stop it, it's just —

( he bows his head, sighing. )

Maybe you shouldn't sleep with me for awhile.

[ katherine stays where she is, keeping her hand on him as she doesn't want him to feel like she's physically pulling away from him.

she tries to hide her disappointment. she doesn't believe that's going to fix anything. if it's going to achieve something, it's prolonging his uncertainty if he's ever going to choke her again. even though he may be right and that it'll happen again, at least he wouldn't be dealing with it alone. ]

Is that what you want?

What I want is to not choke you again because I'm in the middle of a nightmare.

( he doesn't want to look at finger shaped bruises on her neck and he doesn't want to know that hes the cause of it. )

I don't want to hurt you.

You are when you push me away, Stefan.

[ he's let her in and he's let her help him for the last several months that katherine doesn't want to lose that over a nightmare. because that's what it is—a nightmare that's formed from untreated ptsd. she doesn't need five centuries' worth of it to know that he's still processing his trauma.

she reaches up to gently trace his jaw. ] I trust you. Nothing's going to change that.

I don't trust myself.

( not now, not anymore. she's stronger than him but this tonight proves that he can still hurt her. he turns to look away from her but he doesn't try and jostle her hand away. )

I could do something worse than that next time, Katherine.

[ she frowns. ] Do you really think I'd let you do that?

[ she may be stronger and faster, but what she has that others who are her age and older don't is her knack for survival. it even extends to those she cares about, even though she hasn't had much experience in keeping others alive. none of them really matter. none of them are stefan. ]

I wouldn't let you do something you can't come back from.

And how are you going to stop me? You couldn't stop me this time, Katherine. If you're not there, then I don't choke you.

( that was right, right? logical. he's just trying to avoid ruining this with his issues. )

You shouldn't have to guard against this. I should — I shouldn't be like this. It's been months. I should be fine.

It's been over five hundred years and I'm still not over what happened to be when I was seventeen years old.

[ that's a first for her to admit, but katherine accentuates it with a shrug. she doesn't want him to feel horrible about not being over something that happened to him over a year or so ago. she doesn't blame him. ]

This isn't something you just get over, Stefan. Hiding from it only means it sits with you longer.

[ she curls the hand not touching his face around the edge of the vanity. she reaches up with her other to cup his cheek. ] If you want to sleep by yourself, then I'll go sleep in Nadia's room. But I'm not going to leave you.

Katherine...

( stefan trails off, shoulders slumping. he really does think some distance would be safer for her but it doesn't appear that she thinks so.

and while sleeping in nadia's room is a good solution, it's not going to make his worry go away, he knows. he shudders, still feeling the fingers of what he'd done to her holding onto him. )

I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep tonight.

That's fine.

[ she drops her hand from his face to rub his arm. she's grateful he isn't pushing her away once more. all she wants is to be there for him in the same way he's been there for her.

she doesn't think him being alone will help.

she shrugs her shoulder and smiles. ] I'm not tired. We can keep each other company.

You should put something on your neck.

( he knows she'll heal but he hates seeing the bruises and he hates the thought of that hurting her for even one more minute. )

Ice or something.

( he doesn't, at least, try and argue with her about staying up with him. )

[ it's on the tip of her tongue to argue with him, but she decides not to. she doesn't want to go and get any ice, but she knows that it'll at least make stefan feel a little more comfortable. she wants him to feel comfortable around her. ]

Okay. [ she brushes her fingers against his wrist. ] You go back to bed and I'll go get some ice.

[ she doesn't move to go down to his kitchen just yet. ]

Fine.

( is he actually going to go back to bed? it's hard to say. he's not going to leave the house but he doesn't know if he wants to go back to the spot where he had his nightmare. )

I'll be okay. Just...I'll be fine.

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